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David’s Daily Digital Dollop: Dollop 315 – Some Musings on Reincarnation, And A few Smutty Jokes About Sex Positions And Incest (I Mean, What More Do You Want From A Dollop)

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Download the audio version of today’s Dollop here

An element of the reincarnation concept is the notion of soul groups, where the same souls live out many lives together, but taking on different guises and living in different environments. So my brother in this life might be my dad in the last one, or my girlfriend in my current life might have been my sister in a previous life. Urgh, I know, it’s a bit of a disgusting notion really, isn’t it? It certainly makes me feel a bit squeamish about Me having sex with my brother, knowing that, in a roundabout way, I might have been having sex with my dad. Well I won’t be doing that again, I can tell you.

When I say, “in a roundabout way,” this is not a description of a sex position, in case you were confused and were trying to imagine what having sex in a roundabout way might involve. When the book version of David’s Daily Digital Dollop is published, I will of course be providing supplementary diagrams when necessary, and a special pop-up book version for the blind, and of course small children… Anyway, sorry, I was trying to make a philosophical point on reincarnation, but have ended up finding myself knee deep in bile (which incidentally is something that can easily happen if you try having sex in the Roundabout Way position).

The idea of soul groups is apparently so that we learn our karmic lessons together, so as time passes and as we live more lives together, we experience a broad range of situations, and through the course of our many lives together, we go from murdering each other and generally behaving like bastards, to being bezzy mates. If all this is true, then I think it’s safe to say that me, Sean and Michael are definitely in the same soul group, given that I probably spend about 90 % of my time with them.

I am writing today’s Dollop in the Young’uns van, squashed up tightly against the other two, stuck in none-moving traffic, having just spent the last eight hours with them singing the same songs hour after hour with a load of children, just like the day before, and the day before that, and last week and the week before that. In the last month I’ve only had two days where I haven’t seen Sean and Michael. I dread to think what we did in a past life, but it was clearly something dastardly evil to deserve this fate.

I wonder what other lives we might have lived, and who we were in relation to one another. I wonder if we are currently passing our karmic test this time around, or whether we’re going to have to experience yet another life together. Sometimes Michael and Sean really piss me off, but I desperately try not to react to it and snap at them, just in case the past-lives-soul-groups theory is valid, as I don’t want to fail my karmic lesson and then find myself stuck in another life with these two idiots again; possibly living a life in which we go into business together running a solicitors firm or an estate agents’ or something. So I try to be as nice as I can to them. and if they get to me I just take deep breaths and bite my tongue. Obviously this tongue biting is deliberate, and so would not register on my database of mouth biting episodes – the next one still being expected in about forty-five days (as if you needed telling, I’m sure you’re all diligently following along on your mouth biting calendars).