Today we welcome our latest member to the Dollop family, comedian Arthur Smith. Plus, find out why I’ve been talking to walls and putting clothes on inanimate objects.

Today’s Dollop features anecdotes from the Bath Comedy Festival after show party, an improvised poem about cheese, and we reveal what’s in the Love Honey Sexual Happiness Goody Bag, handed out to Bath Comedy Festival New Comedian competition finalists. Dedicated to this week’s Dolloppee Of The Week, Sarah.

Today’s Dollop comes live from Bath Comedy Festival’s New Comedian Of The Year competition final in which I am taking part. It started out with over 200 acts, and I’ve made it to the last ten, but can I take it further. In 2009, Rob Beckett came second in the competition. The winner was Joe Lycett. But how will David Eagle fare? Find out in today’s Dollop, featuring pre and post gig analysis along with clips from the gig.

It’s the eve of judgement day. Tomorrow I take part in the final of Bath Comedy Festival’s New Comedian Competition, sponsored by Love Honey, a sex toys manufacturer. Hence why today’s Dollop is essentially a barrage of sex toys puns.

Today’s Dollop comes from Liverpool, as I make another incendiary journey to perform some standup at a community run night that tackles the subject of self-image; perhaps an odd booking bearing in mind that I can’t actually see myself or anyone else for that matter, but I’ll do any gig for a free buffet. Plus there’s more groping news.

Swooning tractor drivers, awkward selfie moments, unlikely mashups and more in today’s instalment of David’s Daily Digital Dollop.

The David’s Daily Digital Dollop mailbag is stuffed full with your comments, whether that be your thoughts on the many and varied subjects covered in these Dollops, witty wordplay, or warnings about the forthcoming Jewish World Order. In today’s Dollop I read out some of your comments from last week and award one Dollop commenter the coveted prize of Dolloppee Of The Week.

Today’s Dollop is the first song from my pop music alter ego Pop Goes The Eagle, entitled Bad Boy.

Meet Reginald, an ordinary, middle-class, law abiding citizen who feels completely ignored by sexy girls. On the radio, on the TV and Internet, he constantly hears hot female pop artists declaring their lust for “bad boys.” It seems as if all the girls he pines over are obsessed by “bad boys,” but what is a “bad boy?” Reginald has a midlife crisis which causes him to re-evaluate the way he lives. He goes on a quest to become a bad boy in a bid to get the girl. In this song we hear how he’s getting on. If any hot girls are interested in Reginald upon hearing this song, leave a comment below and Reginald might just get back to you, although, as a result of this song, he will obviously be inundated with date offers.